I am in a bubble
a healing bubble
a hammock, sleeping and healing, peaceful
all around outside my bubble
is my life
carrying on without me
everyday parts of my life build up around the perimeter
trying desperately to penetrate through the surface
the bubble’s outer layer appears clear
i sleep on,  healing
when will the bubble burst?
when can my life enter and wake me?

It’s been this long since my shoulder operation. And boy does it seem like that. I am still in a sling and can’t swim bike or run..or do any work. ( tho maybe some sneaky turbo’s  oh and a quick one arm swim in Hampstead ponds…nice;))

My last race being Guam at the end of March ,  not really knowing if I had actually broken anything but instinctively was thinking I had, Guam  incidently wasn’t really on the schedule, I was orginally coming home after XTERRA Saipan as I had a commercial to shoot. That fell through whilst out there so hence the change of  plan. If only…but one can’t think that way. It happened and that is something I have to deal with.

I can only just think positvely and get on with my life as is. The metaphorical carrot is always in front of me  tho as if lurking in the dim light ready to trip me up, a tempatation to do more…stunt work is of course out of the question even tho it has been hard to turn the work down especially if the stunt is a meaty one..and the Cross World Champs in Spain last weekend which was my ‘ A ‘ race and goal for the year. Instead I did friends, family and touristy things.

I have to say as I got into it, it was fun. Seeing my friends for longer than a quick coffee or swift bite between jobs and or training/ work . Actually spending an afternoon or a day with them was a luxury I seldom could afford. My family was another great time -spending, as was travelling by london buses and meeting my lovely neighbours and having a real good chat. They often see me whizzing here and there on my bike, barley time for a hello let alone a long chin wag.

I think all in all it has been a good soul searching and mentally stabilising time , upon reflection, take a grip on what and who I am and what i want . In short time to think.

I was lucky to have a three week sunshine- summer in London so got to do do some amazing things. Travelling to the LOndon Marathon , the Wedding , Highgate cemetery, York by train instead of driving..all had the ups as it was an experience I hadn’t had for a while. everything seemed in slow motion rather than at  70 mph. I felt someone had taken my time dial and turned it from TOP SPEED  to GO SLOW. Good, as I needed the time to breathe and take in what was around me, something I never do.

A sobering (actually literally yes ..no alcohol for  a month) thought

I think every athlete must have to go through . Oh yeah I guess they already have….

Sitting in pain at Hong Kong airport unable to use my right hand to type this..things were not so smooth in Guam, I was feeling so good when I’d arrived from Saipan.

Asmy trusted Coach always said ‘when you feel great watch out for the banana skin around the corner’ Well it wasn’t a banana skin but a failure in my shifter that came off on pre ride out on the Guam course. I took a bad fall , my right arm outstretched to break the 30mph catapult. Upon inspection the gear had sheared off its mount and was hanging from the wire. It had stuck into my front wheel and stopped me in my tracks.

The following two days before the race I did the  ’RICE’ thing, I was lucky enough to have had a US Naval medic with me on the ride and he was brilliant, gave me some strong anti inflams.

Day of the race  and all was getting better , tho I couldnt swim with that arm properly I could suffer the pain on the day as it was am mere 1k  in the warm clear sea of Guam. I wasn’t sure if the shoulder was badly damged or not and the Doc seemed to think it was. I thought I could get through the race unscathed, BUT in the bike leg I hit a drop off as I went off course slightly. it was pretty technical as you could not find a line in  the rutted red clay. It was starting to rain which made the track somewhat sticky. I went over again right on the same spot and this time I was in agony I heard a pop sound and thought I broke my arm. I was down for some time until some guys behind asked if was ok I was in pain and just couldn’t answer I thought if I could just keep going Sometimes one can overcome the worst pain by just gritting the teeth. Adrenaline helps too I guess.

Anyway I found another spot this time coming off on my side but each time I fell the arm just locked and I had no power left which could have meant a recipe for a bigger disaster.

I knew that the most technical part was almost done. Lifting the bike over an obstacle was a no go and I stumbled yet again

I appeared in transition 7 mins down on the leader who was my mate Mieko. I knew the run was going to be tricky with one arm but i was not giving up now.

I could run the road parts no problem but when it came to the jungle and waterfalls, again I was wary.

I got thro that fanastic course that I loved even in the pain I was in.

Got to the end of the race and was releaved and happy with second place. Although I still dont know what the outcome will be as the next few days I thought I must have broken my shoulder I couldn’t sleep or  lift the arm without a sharp pain and doses of drugs and ice.

When I had finished the race a film crew wanted an interview and we started to talk I felt something on my face and wafted it off  looked down it was a GIANT spider never seen such a huge body and it looked like it had mechanical legs -I hate spiders!

That was it for me I had to get back and sleep, no food , just sleep. That night it was the awards that was fun and somehow managed to dance the night away only to end up being escorted by a group of Japanese to a bar they loved, we stopped outside the “tower of london’ English pub couldn’t believe it! All the bars to go to and they chose that one . Full of American GI’s smoking  and playing darts- too crazy .daz-finishing-guam-in-pain-broken-shoulder

Happy to be getting home now but not looking forward to the diagnosis’s and the cold…

This made the tough swim even tougher as all 70 athletes battled to swim towards the exit ,being pushed farther and farther away then having to walk and skip thro the water to get back. I followed Carina out and she was in front of me and the next disappeared and gone! She popped up in front again  and carried walking thro the water – it was very comical.

The rain was on us again in the morning but no one complained as the was dark morning when we set up at 530 am that morning. It was still warm.

I was again between two fab racers in transition sandwiched between Shonny and Renata what a place to be! My swim seemed somewhat slow as I battled with the elements and came out 1 minute down from my usual time..

Hopping onto my bike from what was to be a long slippery and hard bike section the rain kept the course technical and soon my gears packed up too so no bottom gears to get up the long drag hills. The sections that was new long cut down with but stones and wet and soon I took a tumble over the handlebars by a tree root. MY sunglases came clean off my helmet and no where to be seen,,,Darn Oakley s are expensive..

Most of the dry had turned into sticky mud that clogged up the tyres and have no traction, washed out at every rotation, walking was the only option, the bike seemed to take forever  I had ro muster all my strength to keep the momentum.

I was relieved to see the run afer 2 hours and some tumbles, I was totally disorientated went to the wrong side of the transitiona area to find my shoes… the run  was a long flat road  for a bout 2 km then into the JUNGLE and upwards. I found it much harder than last year due to the  longer bike section. Thank god for the cloud cover and some rain to cool us. I felt myself having to walk a lot tof the hills which is unlike me, but as soon s the WW2 cave section (FUN) and rocky ravine came  I could take a breather as you can only walk and climb over rocks, love that!

Then came the easy bit -fire road and beach run  for 2 km…

That was that  and I came in 6th.= Prize money so all good.:))Then came the party had some energy left to have a good ole dance….

Some good R and R needed and onwards to the Tagaman race on Saturday,( middle distance road race) I secured a super fast road bike from The lovely Romeo who owns PRO BIKE in Saipan and some more sunnies too he is my true HERO!!!

What a venue this is! The philippino’s are a warm and cheerful people and put on an amazing race.

The pre -race dinner was exceptional too with the Governess of Cebu honouring us all. We were treated like  Royalty from begining to end. It has been a blast here and so much hospitality- nothing is too much trouble for them .

The race was hard as it was so darn hot . My swim went well, went out quickly and stayed with Sam Gardner for a wee while but lost him with the first pack as I had to recover from too fast a start!!

I felt someone tickiling my feet by lap 2 of the 1500 meter swim in the warm clear sea in Cebu. It was Shonny again as she did in the race before in Saipan and Guam. Upon the exit we had to be helped from  the water on to high floating platform, the man who was helping me grabbed my hand but I could only  get a purchase with my leg to help to hoist me up and he flipped full somersault over my head and fell in fully clothed!! I wondered if he could swim ?.

Out of trsnsition I planned the first loop of 18 or so km as a build but my heart rate was sky high due to the heat and some sharp hills. By the time I had got to the first few km Shonny passed me and I stayed on her wheel for a short whie but she edged away.

I found the bike course wasn’t too technical  for some reason I pushed myself. Te end of lap one and I was 3 mins down on Carina and 6 mins down on the leader. The locals  lining the street as everyone was out and the school kids were chanting and singing with all there might it was amazing experience and really made you feel special.

The run began on the flat and moved a few km up hill  it was the searing heat that got too me and I slowed right down, At the end of the run was a great water crossing that was a welcome relief

I was beat when I crossed the  finish line and I went straight to a massage tent which was bliss!

All in all a good day – no mechnicals and no falls! Thanks to my shiny new  Cannondale Scalpel  2

Came 4th and $800 of prize money. Excellent. Roll on Saipan  next Saturday. Tougher field tho!